Saturday, February 24, 2007

Mamma's Got A Woody

I sit before the computer contemplating some clever topic for a blog. Evil Baritones can't be creative all the time. We're very busy planning to take over the world. Goonie bursts into the room.

Goonie: Daddy, did you know Mamma’s got a Woody?

Me: I... I beg your pardon?

Goonie: Have you seen Mamma’s Woody?

Me: Uh, no. No I didn’t. Tell me about Mamma’s woody.

Goonie: I gave her a Woody. C’mon! Let’s go see it!

Goonie drags me into the living room where Evil Mezzo is performing yoga along with a DVD. She is in the Down Dog position along with a beautiful blonde who is issuing calming instructions from the TV. Not the best time to be talking about Woody in front of daddy.

Goonie: Mamma, show Daddy your Woody!

Evil Mezzo: Oh, yeah. I meant to show you my Woody two days ago and I forgot.

Me: You’ve had a woody for two days and you didn’t tell me?

Evil Mezzo: Yeah, Goonie gave me a Woody a few days ago. Here, look.

With that, Evil Mezzo stand erect and lifts the lower left leg of her sweats. There, a temporary tattoo of Sheriff Woody from Pixar’s “Toy Story” smiles back at me. I release a big sigh of relief.

Me: Oh……! Whattya know! It’s Sheriff Woody!

Goonie: Yeah, Daddy. I told you. Do you want me to give you a Woody, too?

Me: NO! I mean, no, Sweetheart, but thanks.

Evil Mezzo: You’re gonna blog about this, aren’t you.

Me: (Smirking) You bet your Woody.

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Comments on "Mamma's Got A Woody"

 

Blogger Ariadne said ... (February 27, 2007 7:20 AM) : 

bwaahahahahaha...! omg, can't stop laughing here long enough to post a comment. hahahahaha!

ok... deep breath. OK.

This is the best evil post I've read in a long, long, LONG time, EB!

 

Blogger Ariadne said ... (February 27, 2007 7:20 AM) : 

This comment has been removed by the author.

 

Blogger creative-type dad said ... (February 28, 2007 8:45 AM) : 

Man that's weird.

 

Blogger Jill said ... (March 14, 2007 9:16 AM) : 

Ha! That's too funny.

 

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