Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

Ok team, it’s two days before another op’nin of another show! You’re singing a very exposed 4-part harmony for a two hour show. You suddenly realize after the last rehearsal that DOH! you’ve caught a cough, a sniffle, Ich werde krank! What do you do? Do you punt and head for the sideline? NO! The show MUST go on!

I’m about to start eight performances of a high energy, tight harmony, LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU holiday show. And what was a snot filled nose a few days ago has its crosshairs aimed straight for my throat & chest with “Bronchial Infection” flashing in neon. Only once have I completely lost my voice due to laryngitis, and it was for about five straight days when I was a cruise director and entertainer. Yeah, my job was to talk all day and sing at night and I could do neither. Bummer. Even my best remedies didn’t work then. But 98.4 out of 100 times these remedies work and I swear by them as a performer.

Effective immediately I shall be doing the following:

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE!

Never stop drinking water. Always keep a bottle of water in your hand or in arms reach. Flush the body with water. Go pee. Then drink and flush some more. Water keeps you hydrated and is like a flash flood in your body clearing out the viral and bacterial debris.
DRINK IT!

AIRBORNE

I’ve discovered this seemingly simple effervescent potion is a great metaphorical dam stopper. At the first sign of a sniffle or cough I start plopping these pellets at least twice a day. The sudden turbo boost of vitamins and herbs to the immune system usually knocks out an oncoming cold dead in it’s tracks, and in my belief is the cure for the common cold. And the best part? It tastes like Tang!

One word of warning!!! Don’t repeat my mistake! Chewing and swallowing Airborne pellets is not recommended! Drop into a glass of water first!

ECHINACEA

My next favorite immunostimulator. C’mon, who doesn’t like to eat flowers? Echinacea is the purple power coneflower that fights off formidable infections.

OPEN WIDE AND SAY AHHHHH

This remedy may be a wives tale and sound more like a witches potion but, hey I’ll try anything to keep the vocal folds moving. Pour a tablespoonful of honey. On top of the golden yumminess sprinkle a liberal dose of Cayenne Pepper, also known to be in the Nightshade family. Count to three, then shove the spoon into your mouth upside down so the pepper coated honey runs off your tongue and down your throat. Helps soothe sore and scratchy throats.

These are but a few of the witch’s brews I have in my pagan home remedy cabinet. I’ll save the best ones for the book I shall publish entitled, The Discordant Singers' Guide to Quick Fix Counteractive Herbal Elixir Solutions (or Double Trouble Croaky Singer Fuddle).

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Comments on "Plop Plop Fizz Fizz"

 

Blogger Penny Karma said ... (November 29, 2007 10:05 AM) : 

I would also add Peppermint Tea to the list. Remember my swollen uvula?

God, I've missed you...

 

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