Inner Dialogue

INNER DIALOGUE Who plays the role of our Inner Dialogue? Huh? I wanna know. Yesterday I caught myself saying things I wouldn’t normally say out loud. Things my Mamma would slap me for if I said them out loud. It must be time for a 36,000 mile tune up because my self-censor is outta whack! Yesterday I passed by a beautiful looking woman. Now I’m a straight guy. Married, but I like to look. And, I think all women are beautiful. One just has to observe the right features (sometimes internally, ya know, ‘she has a great personality’) which make the female version of the species so attractive. Well, yesterday I spotted this woman who was kinda petite, blond, and was wearing tight jeans. Not my type, but attractive from behind nonetheless. Then she turned and I saw her face, and I heard myself say – I HEARD myself say, ‘well now there’s a hottie…Doh! Never mind…she’s a skank!’ --SLAP -- (heard in Mother’s stern voice…) What did you just say? Wha…? Did I just say that? Later I was walking down the street, it was a beautiful day, I was in a good mood, but yet I passed by a gentleman (who was hard-pressed to pass for a gentleman, but again, I don’t pass judgment on first impressions) wearing shotty clothing and donning one of those big clown sunglasses. He was fumbling with something in his hands and was gesturing to people like, “look what I’ve got in my hands!” I paid no attention to him, but somewhere in the back of my head echoed, “strung out freak. Why don’t you go back to the loony house.’ --SLAP-- “Ow!... Mom!” Did I really say those things? Again, it was a beautiful day, I had a wonderful weekend, my mood was elated, but yet somehow those words were formed in my mind. I worry because I don’t want to end up with an Austin Powers syndrome and end up saying something totally inappropriate and having to pull a, “did I just say that out loud?” moment. I do hope this can be fixed in the shop.