Intriguing Search Results

Ok, I've been blogging almost a year and ever since I figured how to track searches onto my blog I've kept a list of the most intriguing search strings. I was going to save these for the one year blogiversary but the list doth bulgeth. So in honor of fun blogging here is first installment of web searches ending up on my blog: FOOD SEARCHES pop corn kernel stuck on tongue - (Oooo...that's gotta hurt. I recommend more melted butter) How to chocolate freebasing - (Oh yeah! chocolate high at my place every Saturday!) Dreyers ice cream bus - (Never seen one, but will certainly welcome one in my neighborhood) Ports and stouts - (A search for beer? Or search for hunky dock workers?) MANLY SEARCHES manly husband biceps - (Usually created with the ports & stouts...and Dreyers Ice Cream!) chivalrous husband - (As long as you bring me another beer I'll be good to you, babe) Redneck Trucks - (Try using some SPF 100 on that big boy) GARMENT SEARCHES fendi fanni pouch - (would rather have a fanni pouch that a fanni bulge) wallet raphaello - (what...you think I sell designer wallets here?) Coke bottle glasses - (Can you speak up? I can't see you...) wedging up underwear - (I feel your pain. One word to you, dude...COMMANDO) Daddy In Underwear - (Who's your daddy?) caught me in underwear - (Inside or outside? Ladies or mens? Need more details, buddy) Whitey tighties little boy - (Sicko! I've reported your IP address to the authorities. They should be at your house right about..........now! Enjoy jail, pervert!) SINGER SEARCHES Why are opera singers so fat (I'm not fat. I just have poofy hair) good brands baritone - (you can have the 'good' brand. I've claimed the 'Evil' brand) The best female baritones - (They better not be after my evil job!) zippo Mr. Hyde - (a monster with a lighter) chops off head evil barber - (That's right! And I'd do it again if ever I get a bad haircut like that!) MISC SEARCHES yoga pose elbow cruncher - (Not in the groin, dude!) Elmers glue and my little pony - (Ya can't make glue outta plastic toys, dude) pregnancy test at Safeway - (I recommend you take it home, first...) women butt musk arm pit aroma - (makes the perfect Christmas gift for your loved one!) accountant quote pratchett - (*Nods* Yup, quote Terry Pratchett every day. My particular favorite: "I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.")