The Stick is the Pits

One day when I was 13 I said to myself, “Self, why do I detect a foul stench under my armpits everyday?” Hormones kicked in and it was the beginning of body odor. I was embarrassed, sure, even a little pensive when I bought my first underarm deodorant, a stick of Mennen, at the drug store counter. Why was I shy about pit stick? It wasn’t like I was trying to purchase a pack of condoms (which if I had wouldn’t have been used for another five years anyway). But alas, body odor is not a personal issue one wants to broadcast to the world, even to the smirking old lady at the drug store register. So for the last 23 years I have tried and tested a myriad of different underarm odor preventors, all with different scents. Sticks, sprays, gels, deodorants, antiperspirants, Old Spice, Mennen, fragrance-free, Musk, Ocean spray, Fresh Scent. But for the most part I find one that I like and I stick with it. For the last 8-9 years I’ve been a loyal user of Arrid Extra Dry UltraFresh scented antiperspirant. I have previously posted how persnickety and loyal I am about fragrances. But I’m a spur-of-the-moment, impulsive kinda guy, much to MezzoWife’s chagrin. (Look, Honey, I just bought us a new laptop!) I like to think of myself as spontaneous, though. This weekend I spontaneously decided that it was time for an underarm change. Time to shake things up a bit. So I spent a good part of a quarter of an hour evaluating the different brands, scents, etc. I was sold on the idea of Arm & Hammer UltraMax deodorant & antiperspirant. Why not? Arm & Hammer baking soda cures odors, no? So I chose to forego the unscented and purchased the Powder Fresh invisible solid. This morning I did indeed feel fresh after my shower and was anxious to try to new pit stick. I confidently left the house knowing I was going to remain baking powder fresh and odor free all day. About an hour into work I noticed an odd aroma, wondering if the facilities department sprayed for mosquitoes or something. I detected a distinct smell of “OFF!” brand mosquito spray. Nah, must be the fashion designers trying a new dye again. But no. I discovered ‘twas my own armpits emitting the smell of repellant, repelling even me. The A&H Powder Fresh has not kept it’s promise and now I’m back to the drawing board. The good news is that I haven’t been bitten by a mosquito once today!