Women's clothes

So recently I've been dressing in drag. No, not to satisfy some wierd cross dressing fantasy, nor on a regular basis. It's my duty. Yes, duty I say. My latest theatre show requires a man to fill many roles, including that of a beer frau and Carmen Miranda. If you haven't seen the review read here... Sisters of Swing I have a new respect for women and the clothes they wear. Underneath it all is a shoulder strap for a microphone transmitter pack. It's much like a bra, and I find that every 10 freekin seconds I'm adjusting the damn strap! How do you women put up with it? Take it off, I say! Be free! Second, do you women have no modesty? I wear a sheer dress with a split in the front up to my...well yeah, there. I feel so exposed. We men love it when you do wear revealing dresses, oh yes we do! But Geesh! One has to be pretty bold to feel comfortable wearing such garments. And lastly, shoes. What the f()%#? You women amaze me. I was first to wear 3 inch platform shoes with 7 inch heel. Holy cow! Luckily they didn't fit and they decided to slip me into what I learned is a pair of mules. Now I understand how women favor pumps. They have a heel strap. Mules, however, are open heeled and are VERY difficult just to balance. Especially a man who's never worn heels before. And just try dancing in them! I think the Oregonian reviewer was thinking of me when he mentioned the funny man in drag. Womens' clothes. Oy! I've never been so excited just to wear my tighty whities, a pair of jeans, and comfortable sneakers! Believe me, you'll never catch me around the men-in-drag anonymous meetings.

Lick your popcorn

It's a simple pleasure from childhood. Ya know, when you take a bag of theater popcorn and dip your tongue to catch a kernel? Especially when the bag is really full and the popcorn is spilling over, and you have a HUGE soda in the other hand and you're trying to find a seat, what choice do you have? Ya gotta catch those kernels or lose 'em! Yes, I like to eat my popcorn with my tongue. I remember as a kid I would pretend I was a lizard and shoot my tongue in the popcorn like I was catching a fly. 'Course, back then I didn't have to share my popcorn. Now I have to share with my wife. And as good of aim as I have, sometimes the popcorn sticks to the tongue, but falls back into the bag. This happens particularly when the bag is half empty and I have to stick my face into the bag to reach the low level of popcorn. Well, it drops back into the fray and gets a little soggy, sure. And yesterday we were at the cinema watching Jonny Depp act like a pirate and she found a few soggy kernels and asked me if I would PLEASE stop using my tongue to eat our popcorn. So after I stuck my tongue at her (very mature, Bob), I promised never to eat popcorn with my tongue again...exept when she leaves to use the restroom. Hey, what she can't see can't hurt her, right?

Yawn....

I feel like Rip Van Winkle. Just waking up now after a month has flashed by. Fiscal year books are closed, vacations are done, fireworks are over, now I can get on with my normal life...slurping coffee and sitting on my duff figuring out other peoples' bills. Actually I'm very happy to have had 2 weddings for which I was contracted to be videographer in June. The 2 weddings were a definite contrast in style, and budget! One was a 10 minute ceremony where the couple and their 20-something friends just wanted to get on with the drinking and partying. After all the adults went home (I say that as if they needed chaparones...well some of 'em did) and 3 kegs later I captured hours of dancing to the latest rap/hip hop (oy my achin' ears!). They had a delightful time flipping off the camera and reveling in bedlam. By contrast, a week later a lovely couple from the swanky side of town had a splendid traditional Catholic wedding, and WOW! what a reception! A full sit down catered meal for over 300 guests at the largest most opulent ballroom in town to which the couple arrived in a Bentley. Nice! Very classy. Also, when asked to join the dance floor after the first dances, EVERYONE joined the dance floor. Ages 5 to 95 were out there for 3 hours dancing to a nice mix of music (thank you Mr. DJ for no hip hop!). By evening end at nearly midnight, about 100 of the mixed-age guests were still dancing chatting and having a great time. I can't wait to get started editing that video. If ever my daughter wants to get married and I have about $50,000 to spend, I know now how to treat her to the best classy day she'll never forget, complete with videographer!